Now for the other side of this fairytale, “True Story of the Three Little Pigs” style.

Too Many Dollar Signs, Not Enough Food

Let’s start from the beginning, or, the beginning according to Drew. We went to Boston for Thanksgiving. *I have to put The Meritage restaurant on blast here for a second, because our “meal,” (which really was more of a tasting menu) cost us roughly the equivalent of spending the holiday with our actual family in Texas. But I digress… Several laughs later, it is the jumpstart to an even better story. 

While in Boston Common, Drew did ask me about diamonds. True, I’m not really into jewelry, but I do not know one person who who is too “anti-establishment” for diamonds! Plus, you have to be specific with men! Might I also add, Drew cannot be blamed for not stealthily determining my ring size. Up until this point, the only ring I wore daily was a $2.99 mood ring (adjustable, for convenience). *Drew, if you’re reading this, “fancy jewelry” is always welcome, as are mood ring replacements (mixing “high” and “low,” as Lucky Magazine always says to do!)


Alright, let’s skip to the soft opening of the Lefrak Center ice skating rink in Prospect Park, December 17th. As you probably know, I go hard for Prospect Park (it’s quintessentially New York to me, more so than it’s shinier sister, that shall remain nameless), so I was really looking forward to this event. Being “pioneers,” as all Brooklynites like to think they are, we joined the Prospect Park Alliance, admittedly, so we could skate there before everyone else. I was in a good place that night, which would work in Drew’s favor. 

Before meeting up with my (future) fiancĂ©, that night of the ice skating “incident,” I put a fifty dollar bill in my back pocket. *This will be important to later events, I promise.

I met up with Drew in the park, and we headed to the new rink. It was cool (literally!), but the skates were not!  Mine were so narrow, fit for the likes of Tara Lipinski or someone of equal figure-skating clout. I was happy to be ice skating though, so I soldiered on. Drew was a bit more vocal, dramatically declaring his skates the “worst skates he’s ever worn.” I think I rolled my eyes in minor annoyance, but was not going to let this clown cast a shadow on our pioneering experience. 

I’m sure you’re expecting The Proposal to involve Drew spinning figure eights around me. Nope. Or orchestrating the event, having the crowd clear the rink. Uh uh. He pulled me to the side as we were leaving, mumbling something about an ulterior motive. It was really too romantic for words.

“So, uh, I was wondering if you want to marry me?”

“Huh?! What?! Shut up!”

Drew pulled out the (very perfect) ring, only it did not fit on my finger. 

“I wear a size 8,” I told him. *Only, I definitely do not wear a size 8, but we’ll get to that in a few.

We are so happy and engaged at this point. Drew periodically flashes the ring to appeal to my newfound need for shiny stimuli. We go to Brooklyn’s very first Whole Foods (which also would’ve been an ok spot to propose, in my book), to round out a perfect evening. Only, my fifty dollar bill had, by this time, worked its way out of my back pocket, and I would spend the remainder of the night lamenting its loss. 

Anthropologie is for Shopping for Ruffly Shirts and Tiny Bowls, Not Surprising

No one knew the latest, because we were planning to surprise our family in person, when we went to Texas the next day for the holidays. 

The kind folks at the New York Tiffany hooked us up with a Big Time Diamond Dealer in Houston, where we were able to get the ring re-sized. *Turns out, I have super skinny fingers and wildy fat knuckles! I actually wear a size 6 1/2. My sister, Lindsay, accompanied us to the B.T.D.D, and thus, learned of the surprise before everyone else. She is exactly the person you want around in these situations. 

“You’re engaged? Cool.”

We then met up with my mom and sister, Caitlin, who were Christmas shopping in Anthropologie. The most inappropriate news unveiling unfolded:

Mom: “Lauren, do you like this top.”

Lauren: “I’m engaged!!!”

Mom: “What?! No, that’s fake. You guys, that’s fake!”

After several minutes of convincing, congratulations were exchanged in the Anthropologie parking lot. Later that evening, the rest of the family was notified, the men having the better responses. Dad, clutching his chest, declared, “That’s beautiful!” Grandpa, the more stoic one, solemnly deemed it “cute” and “neat.” Drew’s family found out a few days later, which involved many tears and hugs. Different strokes, different folks, I guess. 

The Non-Wedding Wedding

Drew and I attempted to start planning for The Wedding, but the thought became too overwhelming, and I think I started to cry. 

Fast-forward, we’ve decided to turn our nuptials into a “non-wedding wedding,” and are (somewhat) eloping in Southeast Asia. *This, as my sister has currently hipped me to, “is evvvverrrything!” Our families will get to be part of the festivities too, as our travels will end in Texas, where, thanks to an an incredibly event-savvy sister, a family celebration will ensue!

Can’t wait to share our journey with you all! Stay tuned!

*Side note: If you found a fifty dollar bill in Prospect Park, it is mine. Spend it wisely, or just give it back.

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